One Wild & Precious Life

What are you doing with your ONE wild and precious life?

I remember lying in bed one evening and turning to my fiance´ and saying to him “I feel like I am dying.”

I reflect on this thought, often. I first heard the phrase “one wild and precious life” on a podcast episode from the truth seeker herself, Glennon Doyle. I have found such deep and life altering perspective through the work of Doyle; if you have not yet had the chance, I highly recommend picking up her book Untamed and also subscribing to her podcast We can do Hard Things (no she is not paying me to say these things, I just really love and value her work, although one time she did like my comment on IG so we are basically besties now).

I found myself stuck on the hamster wheel, unable to slow down enough to see what was right in front of me. In 2021 I relocated from Phoenix to Boston thinking that I was diving into a fresh start. A new city to be whoever I want to be. A new city to allow my true self to surface. A new city, away from a place that silenced my truth for 25 years. Instead of seeking this internal feeling I was having to break free and finally be ME, I found myself trapped in patterns of fear and scarcity. For the first time in my life, I did not have the comfort of the family and friends that I’d always known. It was me, my partner (who has a job that takes him all over the world), and my dog. I had NO idea the struggle and mental health despair I was about to face.

On the outside, I seemed like a dude who had it all together. Travel ER nurse, new city, new experiences, making more money than ever before, newly engaged, a puppy added to the family, vacationing…. what else could I need, right?

There was one MAJOR problem: I had, for the first time in my nursing career, felt burnout. This word that all nursing students and nurses are aware of; this word that is thrown around loosely; this word that had no real meaning to me until I realized what I was dealing with: BURNOUT. Days of rolling through the damn motions. Restless nights unable to sleep. Unable to recall recent events or conversations. And my solution, you might ask? KEEP WORKING! KEEP GOING! I was working upward of 52 hours per week. A human soul completely encapsulated in a zombie’s body. A machine operating on 5% battery. Doing whatever it took to simply survive.

It is an addiction. Hustle culture, the grind, the paychecks tripled. Telling myself that was it, no more overtime, the money isn’t worth the way this feels. Pick up the hours anyway. Rinse. Repeat. I remember lying in bed one evening and turning to my fiance´ and saying to him “I feel like I am dying.” This was really a turning point for me. Like I was looking into a mirror and seeing myself as a human instead of a machine. Let me clarify one thing: there is high praise and respect for hard work and doing the things that the majority won’t do to get to where they want to go, BUT there has to be a boundary within oneself to protect the humanness inside, above all else.

I began to realize that the things that made my one wild and precious life worth living were all rooted in love: my love, my dogs, my family, my friends, my health (physical and mental). I had placed all of my worth in the amount of money I was bringing home and the hours that I was working that I completely lost sight of crafting a life that I love and cherish.

You owe it to your ONE wild and precious life to fill your time with the things that make you feel most ALIVE. This is a slippery slope, for sure. Most of us have caught ourselves feeling most alive with negative things: drama, gossip, alcohol/drug consumption, work addiction, money hunger, etc. While these can all be consumed in moderation, it is vital to identify the aspects of your life that are creating a riff and leaving you in the cycle of feeling disappointment, resentment, low energy, depressed, sad, longing….

I hope 3-4 year old Colton knows that I am protecting him. He is free to express himself openly and freely. He can play with the Barbies and let his sister put make up on him. He doesn’t have to play with the boys and do all of the things that will groom him into a man one day. He is allowed to cry and wear his emotions on his sleeve. He is allowed to be sensitive and be a mama’s boy.

Now, ask yourself: what am I doing CURRENTLY that does not align with my one wild and precious life? Then ask yourself: what can I do TODAY to begin living the most authentic, real, wild, and precious life? One chance, everyone. One life. One chance. Don’t waste it living to meet societies standards. Don’t be afraid to pivot your life in a different direction. You are not A NURSE. You are not A TEACHER. You are not AN ACCOUNTANT. You are a human that has chosen a path and if it is not working for you, pivot and try something new. You owe that to yourself. You owe that to your loved ones. You will show up as the best YOU if you can figure out your own formula.